Triumphing Without Tears At Male Firms
By GARY M. STERN, FOR INVESTOR’S BUSINESS DAILY
Posted 12/24/2009 06:00 PM ET
Frustrated by criticism from manager Tom Hanks in the film “A League of Their Own,” a female baseball player bursts into tears. “There’s no crying in baseball,” Hanks tells her in a fatherly way.
In her book, “There’s No Crying in Business: How Women Can Succeed in Male-Dominated Industries,” author Roxanne Rivera implores women to control their emotions to thrive and move up the ranks. Crying, it seems, doesn’t work any better in business than baseball.
Succeeding in industries dominated by men like construction, medicine, financial services and science research requires a separate set of skills for women, Rivera says. In these heavily male fields, women must master communicating with men, publicize their feats and find ways to overcome the old-boys’ network.
Firms that can tap female talents can boost their revenue. Since many women executives possess different strengths than men, they help businesses reach new markets, explore new revenue streams and retain top producers.
PMR Construction Services President Roxanne Rivera at the site of a new company facility in Albuquerque, N.M. She says women in male-ruled industries.
When Rivera and her husband started PMR Construction Services in Albuquerque, N.M., in 1981, Rivera became president and he was named vice president. When male contractors called to speak to the boss, Rivera told them she was in charge, but they asked to speak with someone else.
“If I were going to be successful, I had to swallow my pride and build credibility,” she says.
Building Credibility
Rivera joined the board of the Association of Builders & Contractors, gained her contractor’s license and joined a worker’s compensation advisory committee. Soon, builders were coming to her with questions. She learned that becoming an expert built her credibility with men.
Rivera also noted that many women “wear their hearts on their sleeves,” which won’t work in business meetings or negotiations. Getting too emotional undercuts a woman’s credibility.
Moreover, many men engaged in crude behavior to test her reactions. She developed a “thick skin” and takes a deep breath before reacting to gain control of the situation.
In industries like publishing and media, where many females have achieved senior-level positions, women can find role models and mentors. In construction, there were so few women that this wasn’t possible.
Instead Rivera discovered a “band of sisters.” She joined the National Association of Women in Construction where she learned from other women, shared difficulties with them, and found a mentor in a seasoned woman who ran her own construction firm.
To compete with men, women often resort to self-defeating behaviors. Rivera recommends that women:
• Avoid trying to act “tough” like a man.
• Don’t project false confidence and bravado.
• Avoid showing guile — instead be assertive, without being pushy.
Many women succeed at male-dominated businesses because they develop long-term relationships, a source of strength of many females. “In this age with e-mails and texting, developing strong relationships builds a clientele,” Rivera adds.
“Most women aren’t as good as men in promoting and branding themselves,” explains Catherine Kaputa, author of “The Female Brand: The Advantage of the Female Mindset” and a former senior vice president in community affairs at Citigroup (C).
Men often exaggerate their deeds while women downplay theirs. Women need to publicize their deeds or get eclipsed by more aggressive men.
For example, one woman exec told Kaputa that she arrived early at work and often rode the elevator with the CEO. Slightly intimidated, she’d discuss the weather. When a senior male executive encountered the CEO on the elevator, he’d tout his latest deals.
Finally, she got the message and told the CEO about her revenue-boosting feats. Within months, she was put on the fast track and was running a major division.
Another CEO said that men streamed into his office six months before bonus decisions to detail how much revenue their unit generated and pinpoint the specific bonus they deserved.
“In all my years, a female managing director never asked for a bonus,” the CEO noted. That pressure led to higher bonuses.
To succeed in male-dominated fields, women must overcome “invisible barriers,” Kaputa says.
Betty Spence is president of the National Association for Female Executives, an association of 20,000 women leaders and entrepreneurs. She says men typically form informal networks at golf clubs, sporting events, and while socializing at bars, which excludes most women.
“Unless companies change their culture so women gain more visibility, exposure and training, the opportunities won’t be there,” she said.
What Women Bring
When women attain senior- level posts, they bring certain strengths to a company that can boost results. Women bring “collaborative consensus-building and long-term strategic thinking” to management, Spence says.
Moreover, women often employ less risky strategies than testosterone-driven men. Had Lehman Bros. been run as “Lehman Brothers and Sisters” it might have taken fewer risks and might still be operating, Spence adds.
Females can often read subtle cues that men miss. Kaputa recalls one female senior executive at an advertising meeting who sensed that the client wasn’t happy with the proposal. Men disputed that claim, but when the client was asked, the female executive was proved right.
Her emotional intelligence sensed the client’s dissatisfaction with the proposal, which led to revising it.
Ironically, Rivera points to a study conducted by Penn State psychologist Stephanie Shields that said when men cry in business they’re viewed as sensitive, but when women shed tears they’re perceived as incompetent and weak.
Talk about double standards.
